hey... finally back....

hoho.. haha guess it been rather long since i updated .. haha aniway.. not much stuff happen.. but like sharon.. mi is also packed with meetimg, and more meeting with all my comrades in faith regardless of nrpsd shirt com, or my ywd haha.. past one week have been rather enriching to mi.. last sun , went back for kot training.. feeling kinnda shiok though i guess it has been two yrs since i was back.. mani juniors have grown.. haha den after that went for ycf hq1 post celebration.. watched the video abt our we performed on 2 july.. it was realli great i was so touched.. there is vibrance, vitality that i have nv felt before.. is jus seems tat every one is realli putting all their might in all the step.. such a wonderful show cum memories.. hmmm den after that was supposed to go for the bursting of balloon thingy but cos it started at 4.15 den kinda stuffy so we gave up we went to tm.. to shop a while den have our dinner cum short shirt com mtg.. to touch up.. haha after that mok and francis joined us.. had a good lufff over everything hehe... they are jus so funni... i will nv forget " this is nice, but i dun like it" .. this sentence is powerful neh.. haha.. aniway..i also ccancel my tution and pei them till night den we went hm lo.. haha we discuss abt our chalet too which is on the 21 aug to 23 aug.. haha grp B de and in conjuction with sharon and mok bdae.. haha yep.. turns out realli well.. den on mon.. met up with shirt com to decide and discuss stuff.. haha.. den tue.. was back to venezia at take.. din realise i have nt work for 6 dae.. till i punch card.. haha den hmm.. wed had our ywd cic mtg... hmm the mtg was rather a light one.. but kinda heavy at the end.. cos we realised time is run each moment.. soon all of my iic, cic whu have brougt mi into this big family graduating soon.. i hate to leave them but i know is time for them to advance and spread the wonders of the mystic law... i will nv forget.. the happi momment we have.. thanks to ur.. for wat i m not.. i will definitely nt let ur down but strive to be a good cic, a good daughter, a good friend, a good student.. haiz... sui yue bu rao ren.. as wenqing was saeing his leaving gan yen, tears welled up in my eyes.. is jus so hard to imagaine she is leaving us for good.. and i guess cai fong cried.. could see her tears following while i tried to cover with my jacket... hais.. i will miss ur lots... yep..all the best in all ya endeavours ba.. hmmm sob sob... den on thurs as usual went to work... den ya lo.. todae fri le.. haha jus reach hm nt long after mtg xinyi, shaon and gk in town to shop for sumthing.. opps it must be a bit weird for gk.. aniway hope it turns out great chilling out wif us.. haha yep aniway.. after geeting our stuff had dinner at hans.. had a good luff too.. hehe den went to marina to collect my key for tmr venexia opening haha.. guess it be another busy dae for mi tmr.. after work.. mtging cai.. they all to discuss sounveir.. hehe.. yeap.. stay tuned.. will update more... hehe

a dae Of EmotIonal struggle..wat's real love?

hmm.. actualli todae.. was supposed to wake up ealy to go for the gym.. all due to this cold weather i oversleptt.. and it was rining haeavily den din meet up wif sharon lo.. but guess wat i returned to my sleep...and i slept all the way till 2pm.. my gosh think i will be still sleeping if dear din call mi tis afternoon.. cos we supposed to meet up.. haha.. den jump off frm my bed, bath and a slight breakfast.. broom... off to meet him le.. on my way to the mtging i was beaming with hope.. cos long time din see him le ma.. i mean for a cule.. 1 mth 3 week din see.. is realli unusual.. ha.. aniway.. he was late.. cos he was caught in a jam in PIE.. so i waited lo.. wait wait.. den he appear le.. parked his car in my sch den we made our way to borders cos he wanna get a book called battle tech.. haha.. so ya lo... followed him there.. den he get his stuff.. we sat at coffee bean after that.. den xinyi called.. ask mi if wanna go watch ycf.. actualli i was nt in the mood la.. dunno y.. jus feel that sumthing nt right wif mi todae.. summore mon got paper.. haiz.. so ya lo.. end up pass the ticket to alvin and his friend to watch..den on the way back.. dear was actualli trying to played wif mi.. but i was jus nt in the mood.. cos u see.. he was like trying to played with my arm in the public lo.. and it realli hurts.. i was like so de mad.. all the while on bus din tok to him.. i noe he knew it too.. but sumtime his behaviour jus turn mi off.. nt doing the right thing at the right time.. haiz.. den on the bus alot of though went passed mi i was like thinking.. this relationship seems to be going worst and worst.. the feeling for him seeems to have faded.. wonders if that was becos we benn seeing one another less often.. deep inside mi i dun feel like a gf to him.. i m jus like a friend a pilliar he counts on.. i do need security i do need ppl to pamber mi sumtime.. i hate to be a guy to u.. u agree with mi that perhaps we dun realli undertsnad one another.. u find mi weird in thinking.. u dun seem to noe what am i thinking.. but have u ever tried.. i noe sumtime i did nt explain clear to u wat am thinking.. cos u noe i am jus not realli good in expressing my idea.. sumtime.. i jus feel like breaking down.. y things turns out liddat?? i can realli miss ya at sum time.. and totally hack care of u at times.. y? i nt sure too dun ask mi.. haiz.. sumtime i feel that perhaps a separation for a while might do us both good.. i noe u hate to leave mi.. but sumhow.. i jus feel painful and upset when times after times i got to bear wif my packed schedule and disappointment that i can't meet up wif u.. times after time i got to put up a happy, brave front in front of my friend ensuring that our relationship is still surviving well.. i am tired.. though i still love u.. hope that u do consider.. perhaps.. at least salavage sumthing in the end.. sumthing i am even wondering.. if u have mi in ya heart.. friend or mi cum first.. i do admit u need freedom but.. when even i am free to meet up wif u.. it will nt be a committed full dae.. is either u rushing here and there.. after all my daes of waiting all i get is spending max of 2 hrs or 3 hr wif u..? yes u may sae is my fault for waking up late todae.. i admit.. cos i am realli tired.. i m sorry.. but how abt other times.. hmm.. i am jus lost.. jus feel that i m standing at the edge of a cliff.. not noeing where to turn.. hopefully u understand y am i saeing all this.. is nt becos i dun love ya.. but hoping tat sumthing can be done.. if not.. we shall let fate decide.. i am realli tired..

comMoN TesT Week...

hmm this week is realli kinda mentally hectic for mi.. all becos i have four paper to go.. oh my.. luckily gpt break in btw.. aniway.. the study break week was spend studying wif lyn and gk.. haha so funni was rather a weird combi.. cos we came frm diff course.. yet stil can study till so happily.. haha aniway studing woth both of them was beri beri de fun neh.. haha.. though gk.. will be rather lame sumtime but he definitely makes our dae.. haha cos we get to suan him.. bla bla.. anwiway for the past few.. dae.. realli busy mugging with all my modules.. sian.. can;'t wait for ct to be over.. haiz and this week is the last ycf week.. which means ycf is gonna over soon.. hmm times flies.. all the way frm recruitment till now.. performance is gonna over.. hmm lets hope everyone have achieved sumthing out of it.. yep.. gotta.. statr my revison again.. byee folks.. dun miss mi wor.. haha.. first time ever.. such a short entry.. opps

nice song....

他還是不懂作詞：徐世珍　作曲：王治平　編曲：王治平
要說什麼 杯子都已經空了閉上眼睛心裡下起大雪　天寒又地凍是不是到了　
愛情結帳的時候　只剩下各自買單的寂寞為什麼當我推開門 他沒有來拉住我

＊他還不懂　還是不懂　離開是想要被挽留　如果開口那只是　我要來的溫柔　
他還不懂　永遠不懂　一個擁抱能代替所有　愛絕對能夠動搖我

要用什麼　融化這一片沉默在四周的冷空氣裏歎息　化成煙飄走過去的種種　在
心裏滾成雪球　怕還沒說話淚就會先流愛不是他給得不多　是不知道我要什麼Repeat ＊都是背了太多的心願　流星才會跌的那麼重愛太多　心也有　墜毀的時候

Repeat ＊

在第一時間拯救我

WeNt to WatcH Pre_RecOrdED suPerStAR..

yiyo.. yeah.. todae.. after my work ends ta 5, met up wif GK and lyn .. to watch superstar at media corp.. haha all thanks to doreen whu provide us the chance to watch.. opps.. hah.. so time files reali fast during work.. soon tehy cum find mi.. haha ended up we all wearing whte.. machiam PAPs.. haha.. aniway.. make our way t the taxi stand in a hurry and also to the main road,.. hoping to get sum cab.. but i guess all cab driver dun dare t picks us up.. cos is sumhow illegal to pick passsenger when the taxu stand is nearby.. as commented by GK=grass king.. jin jie? haha watever.. aniway he become our jiemei le.. opps.. hope he dun see tis.. haha.. hmm the show was great except ofr sumthing..the organixer of the show yesterdae sucks.. they issued more then the seat for the tickets.. end up sum ppl whu din manage to egt the seat gotta dsit on the floor.. sian.. luckily for the three of us.. we are at the top.. so.. still ok.. though gotta sit on the floor.. but the view was great we could move freely.. stand up when we wan to and sit when we feel like.. haha aniway... all i could sae is the contestand are realli beri pia in this competition.. they took teh judges comment quiet seriously..haha guessed wat the result teht we predicited are more or less the same standar as the judges.. exp... gk de.. he guess sebestian 28.. he realli 26 sia.. hmm.. power... haha den after the whole show.. we walk out wanting to hail for cab to bring us to jackson place for supper but no cab.. so forget it lo... we took bus after walking and waiting for so long.. hmm.. den on the bus we were sininging..humming.. den i ask lyn to go for the soka audition on aug.. den it spices mi interest too.. shall sign up.. haha.. opps.. yeah.. den we reach toa payoh.. gk saw his friends.. or should i sae his friend spotted him.. haha yep.. went kfc to havethe banito pocket.. nice nice... tok, crap alot.. haha and there was tis time.. Gk face got so red.. oh my.. so funni.. haha.. den hmm.. guess it late le.. so we made our way back.. haha den they sned mi to take train though there is a bustop jus outside kfc for them to take hm.. haha.. guess gk made teh wrong decision in sending mi to train station there... cos after we left.. he immedisaley got.. suan.. haha we suaning him to be our jie mei soon... den he was lik.. i am going to get angry le.. haha den we theased him.. bla bla.. oh poor boy.. but nonethelss.. haha.. a lamer..,cute, funni boi i would sae.. opps. but i am still cuter den u. .haha ... yep..

My analysis.. on Job preParation ..interesting!!!

July 08, 2005 ... haha.. a survey we are supposed to do for job preparation one part of my IS -efficient people management module.. opps.. yea.. here is a better accruate analysis of mi.. haha wat do u think... accruate?? hmm seems kinda to mi..

I am an idealist.. haha
Free report for: Tay Hui lang

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

The Four types of Idealists are:
Healers (INFP) Counselors (INFJ) Champions (ENFP) Teachers (ENFJ)

PosT YCF syndrome..

hey.. guess it been ong time since i last blog.. got so mad wif tis blogspot technical thingy... i lost the entry.. which i meant to post it before ycf.. now guessed i can onli post it on after ycf ba.. hmm.. sad sad... aniway.. yeah!! we finally made it.. so glad so happi.. yet kinda sad too.. cos guess now.. weekdae esp tue and thur is jus so lost.. not knowing wat to do cos during ycf at least we will either meet up on tue or thurs or fri.. now suddenly so mani empty slot.. haix,, kinda realli lost.. but like wat william sae life has to move on.. perhasp is another new chapter of our life.. aniway.. to realli share with u tjis ycf is realli nt one entry is enough there is jus too mani to sae.. hmm.. lets see.. shall start on the eve of ycf ba.. haha guess it was the best and my most intimate dae with my grp B gers and guys.. haha opps.. did i jus mentioned intimate? yea.. haha cos we went down to tsc to chant for the success for sat show while the trainers and backstage, commppl are busy at expo.. .. xin ku ni men le.. aniway.. yea.. i was a lil late for diamokukai.. haha.. aniway we complted the whole daimokukai.. den mok was actualli running thru the steps wif our guys.. haha si hardworking nie.. hehe yep.. den we met outside MTA after the daimokukai.. to finalidse tml mtging time while i and sharon seardch for weixin and other ycf member.. ha the feeling of meeting up again before the real dae was shiok.. summoehwo the man zhui gan is there.. yep.. den opps the guys, noel,mok,yiheng stay over at noel hs.. as fro us.. got mi sharon and weixin.. haha so fun.. staying together is realli fun till we slept srd 2 pls.. summhow jus too excited to fall asleepy.. aniway.. ya we actualli called up the guys to check if they slp le ma.. and crap wif them in the middle of the night.. haha check wat they doing bla bla.. it is jus so fun.. den in the mroning woke up at 5.. it is realli sumthing i have nv tried before.. waking up that super early.. haha den did our morning gongyo den moves on to bedok to meet the guys to buy "pao" for our grp B.. haha so sweet hor.. and.. mok pay wor.. *surprised*..so sweet.. aniway.. den we hurry move on to station to take train over to expo.. cos we suggested to meet at 7 and we are like.. 6 50 still at bedok.. haha.. yep.. so ya lo.. when reach ctrl lots of item ic, trainers mebers were there.. but haha we still carried out our eating bao session.. took lots of pic on our makaning session. drinking.. sincerity warm tea prepared by lee huiling..my trainer , my nrpsd comrades, a gr8 sister in faith..she is so sweet wor.. esp perpared liang cha for us.. *touched touched*.. hmm den we made our way to expo after sum self satisfying pics which we took.. haha den guess wat we are supposed to wear our costume and go in.. so haha all of us.. wore and changed jus outside expo.. imagine imagine under the bright lights.. opps.. haha actuali is onli wear over.. haha yep.. so and we took sum great real pic there too.. hmm then the whole preparation for ycf kick off le lo.. first is deposit bag, gathered in our grp, took our clogs.. den preceed to make up and hair stlying.. haha bothe session was cool.. makeup was by the make up unit and my hair style was style by wen qing wor.. nice nice.. hmm.. den after that was lunch, foolowed by a runthrough den actualli performance at 3 pm.. hmm.. the show at 3 pm.. was kinda nt a 300 percent de.. dunno noe y.. cai fong and mi felt that there is no ycf mood.. perhaps it is justoo early.. most of us still in sleepy mood ba..aniway.. ya i truly agreed with her at that pt of time.. but guess our perception changed.. cos i keep telling myself.. "no i must enjoy myself to the fullest.. others dun tok, i shall tok, others dun smile i shall smile.. other feel down i should make them feel high:.. yep that was sumthing i tell myslf.. guess it do works.. haha thought the 3pm show was met by lots of sansho shima.. we overcomed it yea!! SD rulex!! yep.. aniway back to the after 3pm show.. was about to cry le.. cos the formation at the back was wrong sia.. we were nt inline.. and i almost broke in despair.. till.. i keep telling myself i shall be strong .. tis is all sanshoshima.. luckily after dinner.. meiqi called for a dry rehearsal with our grp.. and thanks to choerographer idea and meiqi grp co-operations.. we run thru, realised our mistake and make compromised for onw another.. in the ends it was realli a 300 percent successful.. even sum of the audience were touched as feedback by them and caifong friend actualli mention that she regretted nt joing our item.. hmm was realli happi to hear tis remark frm audiend esp non ssa member..aniway.. dinner was good.. got drumstick.. haha dunno is i hungry or wat guess wat,, i ate the fasterst in my grp when i was like 1/4 my way, my other member still have 3/4 of their rice.. opps.. am i too hungry or jus being to anxious abt the 9pm show.. aniway haha.. dun care.. jus enjoy to the best i could and help ard lo.. yep.. after dinner.. tot.. nothing big is gonna happen.. end up u guess wat, trainer realli give mi and others big surprise nie.. my gosh.. they composed their own trainer song from the song "peng you".. i was like.. my gosh, tears immediately welled up in my eyes..cos it is at this momment whereby parting may seem inevitable yet they still sang such a sad song convey ing the msg of their xin sheng.. my heart was touched at the same time.. touched by the lyrics.. it is jus so tru and real if u ever get to hear it again.. den while they sing i was like.. look at the other side trying to hide my tears.. but guess i din do a good job in hiding, my tears jus rolled down... and my make up smuged a lil.. end up. i pulled caifong to go do lil more make up.. and get away frm the scene.. is jus too much for mi to bear,, thinking of all the memories we had past for mths and now.. after tis show.. we might nt get to meet up wif all of them so easily.. my heart jus sank.. yep.. den.. think the trainer were shock by our response.. cos realli.. esp my grp i guessed, mi cried, cai cried, weixi cried too.. yea.. we r jus so vulnerable and easily moved.. perhaps nrpsd is jus too eaisly moved le ba.. i guess.. haiz.. den the show was abt to being soon after.. alot of annoucement encoruagement was given .. but sumhow i am still a lil worried.. cos the afternoon show was not that great whoch we all had expected.. sumhow buterfiles in my stomach.. so we quietly sat down and chant in our hears using our mind and sould to pray for that success.. yeah!!! den it was our turn.. we r damn ultra high after the junior choir item.. yea we were dancing while waiting.. but after the youth itewm.. immediately my mind slow down.. i turn back and saw gym core chanting.. argh.. i jus feel so bad if i dun chant for them.. sice they are still chanting yet we down here dancing like no body bussineess while waiting.. so end upp, cai, mi and yiheng start chanting with them to pray for the success of theri later man tower show.. den yea.. is finally our turn.. haha it was reali.. great, all bend rather low.. there was unity in shouting, tapping, everyone dancing with their might.. this are all wat i seen and feel while dancing.. and all of us flashes our bight smile which i guess we have seldom do during training.. yep.. and there.. i saw "chuan yi fong.. the chn U artist , also a ssa member with her husbang hong rong and her daughter.. both husband and wife are mediacorp artisit.. haha so touched nie.. yea.. the whole dance was full of dynamics.. ready to pull down expo anitime.. haha opps.. yea.. den came the huam tower by gym core.. deep in our heart though we r excited after the performance but we earnestly chant ing deep in opur hearts for the succesful human tower.. cos is relali nt easi.. everyone need to be alert, focused, concentrate and united for eveything to go well.. a slow in movement for the beat is sumting to avoid.. realli salute to ssa gym core!!! haha.. yea.. u guys did us proud.. admirable spirit.. having to perform 8 time.. in ycf.. nt including rehearsal..!! oh my... hmm.. yea..it was a ultimate success, cheers were thunderous.. even the minister was happy and pleased.. yea.. 300 percent.. success!! so proud to annouce it.. haha.. HQ1.. we did it!!. after the show.. pei xinyi with her grpE go tamp the grasssland near chllenger there to sit and tok.. haha was realli a romantic place commented by GK..played sum realli irrating but fun game.. cos i manged to catch it.. yea!! 3 cheers for mi.. haha den took a cab hm with cat, xinyi and mi.. haha wah cost to nearly 40 busk.. imagine from tamp, go jurong den bt.panjang.. wah... haha.. aniway it was still wrth ot la.. i mean haha..then the next dae.. guess siew hoon too tired to go watch hq 2 rehearsal haha so i got the fortune.. took the ticket from her went with xinyi and her mum to watch HQ2 at toa payoh.. stadium.. yea theirs was realli diff.. was a four season theme.. but i like theri dnace esp.. youth and the ballet and choir de.. so cute and the kids too frm yuhua.. haha such a cute moves,.. yea.. but there is still rm for improvement.. of cos nt forgtting the sambal dance by SD,, haha it was great too.. but mabbi a lil more open might helps in the moves.. shale and twist all u can.. yea!! haha.. yeps.. was a nice afternoon after all.. was sitting with big huiling, mi, xinyi, and meiqi.. sae jicong and huizi, benny, melvin there.. and guess wat the wei nan, our sd youth mention abt our HQ1 item ..and he commented that it as a great success.. thus encoraging the HQ2 to haven even stronger and do a better job then us.. which i believed yeah they can.. though i realli feel proud abt HQ1.. oppss.. but still i belive they will creat 400 percent success!! haha.. yep.. den after the show.. met up wif alan and sharon.. for the .....com discussion.. haha it was realli fun luffing and brainstorming.. enjoyed the wholes session together.. doing sumthing in common and i jus can't wait for the time when the...... is lauched.. oh my.. i be damn freaking proud of all of us.. working hard despite each have our own diff commitment... yea.. den hmm tis few dae been busy wif project and part-time work at venezia ice-cream.. cos this week got the stupid taka fair.. den they shortage of ppl.. haha so nedd to work more dae.. yep.. eeryone was like asking m.. u nt tired meh y ssi bubbly for work esp after sch.. haha well.. i always believ using a positive attitdue in doing things so yea.. gues sif i pay attention in class and lect.. with more revision next week my CT wun have a prob.. and abundant of daimoku.. haha.. yea.. okok.. gtg le.. is getting late i still haven bath.. opps.. haha nites all folks..!!

3 more daes to ycf..Big Big day!

hey.. if everybody is wondering wat my title is about.. is actually a youth cultural festival orgainsed by Singapore soka association.. it is held every five years.. and this time round our theme was rainbow of peace which happen to be inline with racial harmony dae thus it was supported by north west cdc.. thus we have the luxury of using EXPO.. Hall 5.. whaha so xing fen.. hmm.. must realli put up a good show.. 350 percent success.. and we definietly will !! haha yesterdae training was realli a good.. one.. we reach tsc ard 7.30 and toto that they are coming down frm chanting den we went immediately to the training ground onli to find that only sum trainer and new friends were there.. haha.. so in excitment and anticipation,, we ewent to on the music for ourselves to dance.. haha.. so paiseh so mani ppl looking wonder if i realli dance correctly ma.. ee.. yeah.. aniway..we were really high.. super ultura high.. haha.. is like it seems we can reallii stay there and sing song for eternity.. and my grp was ultra high.. we sang.. cheerful hearts in unity.. den guess wat i was suppossed to be the lead singer... sum how sum part i no voicee so weixin take over haha.. we sang, cheers.. wah.. watch our last sun video.. hmm.. cannot commit the same mistake.. and yesterdasae training was perferct every one was realli united.. den we all arranged to meet at expo mrt at 7 on sat.. den we can have happy meal prepared by ppl leaing in the east.. whah shiok to move ard in a group men.. and todae simokukai was great too... managed to watch video clip of the preparation for the ycf training at tsc.. 4 mths of traing.. in just a split sec.. soon we be on stage dancing to the beat of japanese tap dance.. and we will create 350 percent victory!!!