sPeEcHlEsS..

Looking back of all my post , most of it are happy ones.. but guess this entry gonna be a breakthru.. i feel real shitty now.. after reading thing that i should not have read.. have i not done enough? have we committed and thing wrong to face such strong persection and obligation to u? i jus could not understand when someone is trying hard to transform another one's life yet the person is not giving herself chance.. times and time nice words have been said.. perhaps u may say i have changed but.. dun human grow.. perhaps i have grown to be firmer but looking at the stat right now do i have a choice.. ? i am utterly sad.. lost speechless..hai.. wat must i do to make ya awaken to ya mission in life.. escaping from prob isn't the only sloution .. u may find it tough now but.. when u get older, step in to societ.. the harshness u faced outside is even much worse then this.. hai.. believe it or not.. it relly depens on ya.. shit.. why am i saying all this.. well i m lost sum how.. jus wanna cry..and let all my tears flow.. times and time ppl lie.. giving u empty promises.. trying to be strong is sumthing we ought to do.. but is really not easy when tones and tons u been receiving rejections..i need a break.. to breathe as much ..

guess my time in troubling all this issue will nt be long.. once medical check up is done.. off i going for basic trainer course off will only be out on sat and sun..well well.. think gotten end here.. have sob enough le..

tmr going back nP to meet sum members and cic.. the world will continues to rotate.. watever.. yesh.. i must get up on the 8th.. huiling jiayou!!

Sensei Daily prayers....

just back from iic kenshu prep.. had recee as well as dialogues.. but one of the special gift we receive was knowing wat sensei daily prayer.. to many of those who may nt be aware whu this sensei i m talking about,, he is none other then our Soka Gakkai International third president. alos known as our mentor in life.. it jus kinda bring mi closer to sensei as i read thru all his prayer.. below is his daily prayer that i shall shared wif all my supportive readers..

1) Today shall devote my life to Kosen-Rufu
2) No Matter Whatever happens, always be calm and strong and strong to face it.
3) People whome I see must be healthy, happy and thru dialogue gives hope to others
4) People whome i meet must portray the strength of ourselves
5) Always be opptimistic and democratic.
6) Try my best to act, showing the best actual proof.
7) Ability to treat the success of others as our own and be happy
8) Not to begrudge of previous mistakes but advance to the future.
9) No time to reciproate others, wholeheartedly advance forward.
10) Not to fear but be strong and not showing temper to anything matters but be patient.
11) Treat obstacles as an oppournity,showing great actual proof, increase our conviction each
day.

the above prayer are all in chinese.. straightforward and strict.. and of cos he is also praying ahrd for the happiness of all the members as well as the BOE of the world.. can't happy but feel the closness of sensei.. once again.. yes..!! youth shall nv scuumb to defeat.. the more we suffer and polish ourselves now, the more we will gain in future.. Gambatte!!

"Kosen-rufu is a struggle against devilish forces.It's a struggle tat cannot be won with half hearted determination" -sensei