Valentine Dae?

hi.. finally back.. wats the time now.. hmm half past nine.. guess other couple are still bathing in their romantic lovely dinner.. and wat am i doing now? blogging.. hur hur.. todae was kinda mixed up.. wonders wats wrong wif mi.. hmm.. somehow thing and plan that i had in mind cannot be execute out.. should i feel disappointed or glad? well.. dear was not feeling ok after a movie we left from his hs.. and at late evening he had his mac.. so we din really go for dinner as he is pretty full.. den i dun feel like eating either.. as initally i plan to have dinner den movie.. but he suggested to change everything.. movie at suntec.. and dinner etc.. bla bla.. fine lo.. jus gotta respect his decision..guess wat when reach suntec we din manage to watch the show i wanted.. end up we watched sumthing we din plan.. fun with dick and jane.. ok la.. nt a bad movie.. den we settle for pacific coffee company opp marina square.. he was nice to buy mi a rose and bracelet.. quite nice.. cos i choose it myself.. haha .. while sitting at the cafe,thoughts have been flashing my head while watching him resting on the sofa chair.. sumhow i wonders how do plans changed almost everytime i gotta meet him.. den the kind of excitement seem to have faded ..urgh.. being wif him.. has been becoming more boring.. perhaps i have been thinking topo much.. or it is i have higher expectation of him? or it it that i yield for a single life? or is it that there are jus too mani uncertainty and perhaps he is jus nt the one.. i have been pretty positive at our relationship but there is also a time when i look back.. i could onli sigh.. perhaps valentine is a dae for mi to reflect and realli think abt ourselves.. as i was on the bus thoughts have been flashing past mi.. is he realli the right one for mi? am i ready to actually be in a relationship? or am i jus thinking too much? Perhaps.. things might changed when i am in the police force.. and having more roles in ssa.. while he be busy studing and working.. hopefully by then i guess i be more matured to make a decision.. sumtime i even wonder.. if we did not start , how would i be now? happier? or sadder? guess no ones knows not even myself got the ans.. perhaps there is a time u grown and u think differently abt the same issue... or perhaps i am jus tired, stressed? i nt too sure.. onli noe tat i need more daimoku.. and perhaps he is able to accept the reality if it even draw upon him..tears rolled as i type these.. happiness , confusion or sad tears..? nobody noes.. nt even myself.. urgh... **.. lets' hope he nv get to read this.. oppx..